First rambling in a while

Personal · 2026-04-14

Today, Teddy has his 2nd day at nursery. Dropping him off to someone I’d not met before felt, weirdly okay.

Everyone I’ve met at the nursery is super friendly, so I have no worries in that sense - but putting away the buggy and hearing him have a little cry down the hallway was a sharp pain in my heart. Of what I imagined, I don’t know. Just a really strange sensation. Breaking out of our little bubble at home, to Ted going to nursery, me heading to the office, Philippa preparing to go back to work and Rory, well Rory’s just happy she’s getting a long walk every morning - dogs are just happy right, she loves being around us but her needs are food, walks and attention- the easiest of us all… most of the time anyway.

Am I officially an adult now? Like this is what I imagined all the parents pre-Covid had to do. I had, (have? Im not sure but this is the 2nd time I’ve questioned the tense of the word I should be using - brain is engaging, I guess?) a sense of pride - a lovely 40 minute walk through Victoria park, dog walked, baby dropped off, on the way to the office.

I’m a little rusty with this whole writing malarkey but, I’m excited to get writing again, re-finding my voice and enjoying the process as much as possible. I’ve already questioned how many times I’ve used but - not that I think there’s anything wrong with but, but refunding something i haven’t used my brain for in years has me questioning my own brain, what I should and shouldn’t do or say. But this is for me, and just a nice place for ramblings.

I find it super interesting that I jump from paragraph to paragraph, pausing mid thought to go back to another point - maybe we all do that now, attention spans at its lowest of all time, we’re all looking for dopamine constantly. Brains jittery at the best of times.

Anyway, back to the other point - there’s been a shift in my headspace just constantly getting outside. Trying not to jump on my pc first thing and use up my brain power by 10am.

Sidenote - are we ever going to drop the p from pc? PC’s is personal computer right, but you don’t hear people say ‘just gonna hop on my personal computer’, maybe work laptop (ever gonna be wl?! - probs too late for that now).

BUSES. Used to hate them - that 93 bus journey from north Cheam to Morden taking 45 minutes, to go 2 miles. Absolutely took a toll on me. swore I’d never get a bus again unless I had to. Now, I’m back in my bus era. If that’s even a thing. I can make it one, right. Fuck me what’s happened to me ahaha.

Disjointed, yes. Ramblings, absolutely. Fun - yeah thoroughly enjoyed this morning rambling. Will end there, who knows when the next entry will be. Need a quick way to go from writing in my notes to Jstov.uk though.

BORA.